


This Is a Bad Town, For Such a Pretty Face

by equalopportunityobsessor



Series: 'Webhead', and Other Really Stupid Nicknames [1]
Category: The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Team Building, Tony and Peter will be bff's if it kills me, all I want from life is for Spiderman to be in the next Avengers movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-17 10:12:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1383700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/equalopportunityobsessor/pseuds/equalopportunityobsessor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SHIELD isn't in the habit of letting superheroes run amok. Peter isn't in the habit of broadcasting his secret identity to the world. </p><p> </p><p>(Luckily, Gwen Stacy and Pepper Potts aren't in the habit of letting their men be ridiculous.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because the thing that would make my life complete would be for Andrew Garfield's Spiderman to be one of the Avengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 22/11//2014 for grammar and verb tense errors, some other minor changes made.

"Huunnnnnngh, God," Peter coughed out, attempting to clamber out of the tangle of web-juice and robot he'd found himself in with his dignity intact. He flopped onto the ground, right hand fused to left ankle by the pitiful output of the smashed web-shooter. 

Poor little trooper, she'd tried so hard.

"Physics is just not my friend today," Peter told the ground very seriously, forgetting that the robot suit he'd taken out in his free-fall was, in fact, inhabited.

"Tell me about it," Iron Man groaned, startling Peter into jumping to his feet - well. Jumping so he could land with his feet affixed to the ceiling. Iron Man started clambering to his feet, and - wow.

"Wow," Peter repeated out loud, "That is so freaking cool, dude." Iron Man was pinching strings of web-juice off his suit - _with his robot fingers_. "I can barely manage to get this stuff off with my non-sausage, human-fingers. That is some rad joint dexterity, man."

"Yeah, no, I do not have the patience for this," Iron Man growled, mostly to himself. He tried to shake a couple strings off his fingers - gloves? - but they clung stubbornly. Peter smirked, safe in the knowledge that no one could tell with the mask. Iron Man turned the robot glare up at him, and Peter valiantly fought off the super-manly urge to run and hide.

"Am I gonna be able to wash this shit off?" he demanded, and Peter bristled.

"Watch it, pal, that 'shit' is a marvel of modern biochemistry, and… and a lot of really cool science-y things that took me a really, _really_ long time to figure out, okay, so…" He trailed off a bit (boy, it was super spooky talking to someone who's facial expression didn't move) but forced himself to finish, "Just have some respect."

At least the mechanized voice sounded vaguely amused when it replied, "Fine. Am I gonna be able to wash this 'marvel of biochemistry' off?"

Peter cocked his head. "Good question."

"You'd better be fucking joking," Iron Man said, and the little rocket launchers in his hands lit up, pushing Iron Man up so he was level with the ceiling, where Peter was still perched.

Peter went and perched on the window sill instead. It was a nice window sill. A nice, open window sill, with lots of things to jump to, or attach his webs to, or fall on to…

"Sorry! Sorry, dude, uh, sir, uh, Iron Man…" Peter stuttered, trying to appease the weaponized suit stalking him leisurely. Billionaires liked having their egos stroked, didn't they? "I honestly don't know! I've never had to wash the dregs off of gold-titanium alloy before! When I get it stuck to the suit I just freeze it, and the stuff hardens and flakes off… Can you freeze the suit?"

"Why do you what the suit is made of?" Iron Man demanded, though he didn't sound too angry about it. Just, you know, suspicious. Peter tipped himself a little farther out the window.

"Uh, sorry, is that not supposed to be common knowledge?"

"Well, no, I guess it's fine, it's just -" Iron Man broke off suddenly, tipping his head as though he was listening to someone else - and he probably was, because unlike Peter, he had a team and he probably, like, talked to them about things. Important super hero things.

"Sorry, bug man, gonna have to cut this heart to heart short, but do _not_ run away after this fight, I am serious, you are not allowed to pull your disappearing act. I am not done with you."

"Uh…" Peter drawled out, nerves up and down his right side tingling so hard it almost hurt. "Aye-aye, sir!" He tipped a cheeky salute at Iron Man before pushing himself backwards out of the window, twisting in mid-air so that he could launch a web out of the functioning wrist-piece at the incoming Flying Mr. Roboto.

The things looked like crude attempts at Iron Man's sleek armour - though, maybe all anthropoids would forever be doomed to look like Iron Man. There had been probably _literally_ a thousand of these things swarming Queens, and the Avengers had only shown up like, three minutes ago, but Peter'd had pretty good luck at smashing the things so far - they were pretty easy to break. There hadn't exactly been time for a pow-wow with Captain America (Captain Fancypants, as he liked to refer to him (or Captain Buns-of-steel, if he was feeling precocious)) about the best way to kill these things, but Peter was pretty much sure that if you pulled right - here -

The thing careened towards the ground, free-falling madly now that its 'brain' had been separated from its mechanics. Peter kneeled on its shoulders, using his weight to steer the thing like a really clumsy skateboard, heading towards a clump of the robots congregating on the sidewalk.

Unfortunately, Peter didn't realize _why_ they were crowded around a perfectly innocuous section of sidewalk until he was already committed to his collision course.

The Black Widow, the gorgeous object of his entirely innocent (and massive) spidey-crush, was holding her own against five of the nasty beasties, but she probably wouldn't take it too well if he turned her into one of his bowling pins too.

Time slowed as it often did for Peter in the middle of a fight, and he had more than enough time to anchor two of the things to the ground with webs, swoop through the gap he'd created to scoop Black Widow up with his web-less arm, and swing on out of there, heading for the roof of the nearest building.

He hadn't really counted on his passenger going freaking _ballistic_ when he did.

Black Window kicked and clawed and jabbed him with her freakishly pointy elbows, and if he hadn't had strangely bendy joints, his arm would _definitely_ be dislocated.

"Ow, Jesus, stop would you just - OW MOTHERHUGGER STOP WITH THE SHIN KICKING, OKAY? I'm putting you down!" Peter yelled, distinctly unimpressed that his daring rescue was so poorly received. Gwen would have been properly grateful if he had saved _her_ from certain fiery death.

He dropped Black Widow on the roof - perhaps less gently than he might have before - and leapt over to crouch on the ledge of the building. They eyed each other warily, both bristled like cats. Apparently deciding that he wasn't likely to try the manhandling again (damn straight he wasn't going to try it again), Black Widow lifted a hand to her ear, presumably pressing a button on her comm unit.

"Captain, the group in front of the bank was been neutralized. Where do you need me next?"

Though the voice was tinny, Peter was able to hear what Captain America was replying - thank you, super spidey senses.

_"Stay where you are for now, Widow. There are some stragglers, but as of yet it's unclear where they're going to settle so we can take them out."_

"Copy that, Captain."

Peter sat down, interpreting the Captain's assessment as a sign they were getting a bit of a breather. He turned his chin down so it wasn't immediately apparent he was still watching Widow, and started to pull his right glove off. She twitched, and two seriously illegal knives appeared in her hands. Peter didn't flinch, didn't even tense (even though he was privately screaming like a little girl), just continued to peel the web-juice-soaked glove off his hand. Luckily it hadn't dried yet - the stuff could be worse than super glue sometimes (he tried not to think about the times one of the cartridges had exploded all over him after too much rough handling. Removing the suit usually took a few layers of skin with it). He wrestled the mangled cuff off his wrist, crushing the pieces with his boot - the mechanism was irredeemable, but that didn't mean someone couldn't reverse-engineer the tech if they had wanted to. He examined the gash from the twisted metal on his wrist, noticed that it was already starting to clot over, and pulled his glove back on, swiping his arm through the air a few times to get used to the new weight. He also went ahead and replaced the cartridge on his other arm - it was still half full, but with only one, he didn't want to risk running out.

Black Widow was still staring at him when he finally looked back up. Peter sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry I grabbed you, that was very rude and presumptive of me, and I promise I will never, ever, do it again, so will you stop with the Glare of Doom? No? Okay, I can work with that. Do you want a lift back down to street level?"

He glare intensified, somehow, and Peter thought maybe he'd just throw himself out of this conversation too when she said, "Just keep your hands to yourself, kid."

"Oh, no, I mean, yes, of course, I mean, I wouldn't, I mean, not that you're not pretty! You are, very pretty, it's just uh, I uh…" Peter was frantically trying to shut himself up, and was only having marginal success, so finally said lamely, "I have a girlfriend."

Black Widow almost looked amused, which was so much better than 'ready to eviscerate'. Peter approached her carefully, suddenly hyper aware of where he should put his hands, and how he should hold her against him securely enough… _Oh, God, sorry, Gwen, really_. His dithering lasted too long apparently, because she rolled her eyes with an impatient sigh, grabbed his shoulder and jumped, swinging herself around his body to land on his back. He whoofed out a short breath - she wasn't _heavy_ really, but she definitely made for a  solid backpack. She wrapped an arm across the front of his shoulders and gripped his waist with her thighs.

"Let's go then, kid," she demanded, pointing in the direction she would like to go. Peter was pretty sure he could hear the Hulk roaring off in that direction, and would really rather not go that way. He would, however, really like to live, so he does as directed.

"Stop calling me kid," he grumbled to her as he jumped off the building, Black Widow's extra weight increasing the speed of his fall. He whooped when he still managed to pull out of it at the last second - the toes of his boots skimmed the top of a taxi hard enough to set off its alarm. 

Black Widow mutters something that sounds suspiciously like _"Men."_

 

+++

 

The robots didn't take too long to round up, all things told. Turned out the Avengers _did_ come in handy every once in a while, even if Peter had done all of the hard work while they were off doing each other's hair, or whatever it was that they did in their spare time.

Peter spied a crane out of the corner of his eye, did a quick calculation of angles and wind speeds and vectors, and was just about to blow this popsicle stand when Iron Man crashed into the street right in front of him - just for dramatic effect, because his landing was otherwise perfectly steady, though did produce an admittedly cool shower of gravel and asphalt.

"Thought I told you not to take off, Sipey-Widey," he said, tipping the face plate of his helmet back to look Peter in the eye.

"Ah… I wasn't?" he ventured, ordering his feet sternly to just _stay put_. "I uh… Just wanted to do a perimeter sweep? Make sure none of the nasty Rock 'Em Sock 'Em's were left behind?"

"Mhm, nice try Spidey," Tony said, clapping him on the shoulder, and gripping really rather harder than was strictly called for. "Why don't you just leave that to the nice folks over at SHIELD, and come join us at the big boy table?"

"Uhh… sounds great," he acquiesced glumly, nearly tripping from the force of Stark's next shoulder clap.

Peter got hauled over to a black town car with entirely opaque windows (which was  _super illegal_ , by the way), and unceremoniously shoved into the back seat. He was left alone for a few seconds, and he contemplated making his daring escape, but before he could do more than futilely depress the window mechanism, Tony Stark, free of the armour and clad in a black body-suit not dissimilar to Peter's settled on the seat beside him. Peter froze, not turning his head, but still eyeing Stark warily.

"So, Webhead, what's your story?" Stark asked, deliberately casual, grinning over at Peter. "You a mutant? A lab experiment? An alien?"

"God," Peter replies, entirely deadpan. Tony snorts.

"Pretty sure 'God' doesn't go out galavanting around in spandex, kid."

"What are you, a priest? You don't know. Fighting in the robe was starting to get a little weird. It kept flipping up. Who needs charges of 'Public Indecency' on top of 'Vigilante-ism'?"

Stark laughed again, smirking at Peter.

"Seriously though, Spidey, you're pretty hard to pin down. Always above the sightline of the cameras, too small to be picked up on most satellites, plus a costume that takes thirty seconds to hide under a change of clothes… Even SHIELD's having a hard time pinning you down."

"I think I'll take that as a compliment," Peter said mildly, eyeing the glass of the window, rather than the rapidly-passing scenery. It was decently thick, but Peter had broken through worse with less momentum. They were moving, albeit in the city, so it probably wouldn't take too much work to disappear.

"Don't get too complacent, kid," Tony grinned just as the car rolled to a stop outside a grey office building, "I haven't tried to find you yet."

Aaaand, that was the exact limit of what Peter was willing to risk regarding his secret identity (though, technically, Spiderman was his secret identity, and Peter Parker was… y'know. _Him)._ Peter dove for Tony's side of the car, ignoring the billionaire's instinctive flinch and slapping his hands against the door. He let the force of his jump coil into his arms like a spring, and the pushed off, launching himself feet-first through the window, which thankfully did break. He emerged on the street in a shower of glass, but was knocked off-course for his next leap by an arrow breaking open at his feet to release a tar-like glop all over his boots.

He groaned, ignoring his inappropriate fan-boying over _how cool_ that shot was, seriously. "God, that's disgusting." He minced his feet around, lifting one to test the elasticity of the goop. "Does this stuff wash out? Seriously you guys, I cannot handle replacing the suit again."

Stark clambered out of the car behind him, saluting the still-invisible Hawkeye before clapping Peter on the back. He seemed to really enjoy doing that. Peter wished it was a lot easier for other people to tell when he was scowling through the mask.

"C'mon, Webhead, no more escape attempts, we're tired too." He poured some kind of liquid from his pocket over the stuff cementing him to the pavement - it hissed and bubbled ominously, but didn't damage Peter's suit.

Peter allowed himself to be dragged into the building, but made it pretty clear that it was all under duress.

In fact, Peter complained right up until he was sat down at a conference table and joined by all of the Avengers plus Scary Suit and Scary Eyepatch. He didn't feel like talking much anymore.  He crossed his arms over his chest, and settled back in the chair. They put Captain America and Black Widow on either side of him, arguably the two on the team with the fastest reflexes. Hawkeye was sitting across the table from him, fingering his bow with a disturbing grin on his face. Tony was talking to a small-and-mostly-pink Bruce Banner at the opposite end of the long table - Dr. Banner was dressed in a SHIELD tracksuit someone obviously provided him when he shrunk back down, and looked a little grey around the edges.

They seemed to think they had got him pretty well trapped, but nobody had made any attempt to restrain him so far, and they were still in a room with windows.

Maybe, he'd stick around to hear what Crazy Motherhugging Eyepatch has to say.

Maybe.

"So. Kid. Want to tell us your name?" Eyepatch yeleds, though he doesn't sound particularly angry - maybe he just spoke at that volume all the time.

Peter didn't say anything.

"C'mon, kid, we're not gonna turn your ass over to the press, or the police, we just want to know what your name is."

"Why, you seem to be doing fine with 'kid', so far," Peter griped. "Would you all quit with that, by the way? Just because I'm not built like the Wonder Twins over here," he gestures at Blonde-and-Muscled One and Two, "Doesn't mean I'm _prepubescent."_

Eyepatch took a second to digest this. Peter eyed the vein throbbing in his temple suspiciously. That couldn't be healthy. 

"Fine. What would you like us to call you?" he aked 'patiently'.

"'Sir' will do," Peter replied, and both Stark and Banner snort. Stark just flipped Eyepatch off when he turned the Glare of Doom to their end of the table.

Eyepatch turned back to Peter, and somehow straightened even further, pinning him in place with the evil in his one eye.

"My name is Nick Fury, and you, Spiderman, whoever you actually are, are a remarkable human being. Stark here has made a particularly strong case about making you a member of the team."

Oh, hell no. It was a really good thing this room had windows.

 

+++

 

Everyone had leaped to their feet when Spiderman went for the window, but the little fucker was _fast,_ Tony would give him that.

He sauntered up behind Fury and clapped him on the shoulder, offering up his best shit-eating grin.

"I think it was something you said."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all y'all lovely readers! Thanks so much for stopping by! I swear on my brand-new Harry Potter Blu-Ray box set (all eight movies!) this story will have twice-weekly updates, AT MINIMUM. It's already written, but every time I look at the upcoming chapters, I decide that something could be changed. But everything will be up before the Hell That It Finals Week begins, so fear not!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 23/11/2014, for grammar and other minor errors.

"So. The Avengers," Peter muttered into her legs, not even attempting to lift his head from where he was sprawled, face-down across her lap. Gwen smiled down at him indulgently, not that he could tell, and stroked her hand through his hair. 

This had become something of a ritual for them - he saved the city while she watched, breathless and terrified (sometimes she watched it all on the news, sometimes she couldn't stand that, and she would have to join the hordes watching on the sidewalks). Then he would come home, and hold her until they both stopped shaking. Then he showered, and she settled on the couch with her homework. He flopped into her lap when he was done, and she finger-combed his hair until it was dry and fluffy once more. He would turn over, so guilty and desperately in love that she would know. _I can do this. I can love him this much. I can love him enough to do this for the rest of my life._

Gwen scratched her short nails lightly over his scalp and Peter hummed, mutated joints sagging further into the couch, into her.

"Yes. The Avengers."

Peter actually turned his head so she was looking at him in profile, and hooked the fingers of his right hand into the top of her knee socks. Gwen ran her fingertips over his jawline and he hummed again.

"They, uh, - well they - when I say 'they', I mean Tony, uh, Iron Man, and this really scary guy with an eyepatch, he was really the only one talking - Scary Eyepatch, not Iron Man, though he didn't really stay quiet for very long either - anyway, they uh, he… invitedmetojointheavengers," Peter finally managed to spit out.

Gwen paused her stroking and he let her, which told her just how nervous he was about this, because usually he bumped his head up into her hand if she ever stopped, like a cat. Gwen thought for a second, then pushed her fingers back through the short hair at his nape. He sighed with relief, then they were both silent for a minute.

Gwen cleared her throat. "What does that mean, exactly? For your… superhero-ing gig?"

Peter sighed. "Nothing official, yet. I kind of freaked and bailed before they could start talking about like, living arrangements and PR stuff. Actually, we didn't get to anything past 'Kid, we want to make you a fully licensed, government sanctioned ass-whooper' before I bailed. But, you know that creepy suit guy that looks like an accountant-ninja-spy that follows them around sometimes?"

"Yeah," Gwen smiles, amused by Peter's impression of Mr. Suit - she thought he'd seemed perfectly innocuous, those times he'd appeared at the fringes of news casts about the Avengers, but Peter's instincts were better than hers.

"He seems like he enjoys paperwork and contracts signed in blood and things, or possibly shady deals at crossroads, but I think Stark and the Scary Eyepatch Man kind of sprung this on him, so he wasn't prepared to have me sign away my soul."

Gwen laughed softly, feeling the edge of Peter's smile against the back of her knuckles.

"Why does that freak you out? Seems to me like having a team behind you can only be a good thing."

"Well, we certainly have different jurisdictions. They're not so much with the mugger-and-robber nabbing. And, they're endorsed by SHIELD, and being an agent of the man would really mess with my street cred."

Gwen snorted. "You are _such_ a rebel, Peter Parker," she teased.

"Hey, I have _earned_ the title of 'vigilante' with a lot of hard work and property damage."

"Peter," she chided, tugging gently on his bangs, "Peter, if it keeps you safe…"

"It might not keep you safe," he blurted out, peeking a look up at her. She just blinked, and he sighed. "They are… _famously_ bad at maintaining secret identities. Like, Tony Stark, case in point."

"What about those spies? Nobody really knows anything about them," Gwen pointed out.

"But _everyone knows their faces_ , Gwen. None of them have family, people they care about and need to keep safe, do they?"

"Pepper Potts got kidnapped by those terrorists over the Christmas holidays last year," Gwen supplied, smiling when he groaned in frustration.

"Not _helping,_ Gwen."

"Are you worried about me, or your aunt, bugboy?" she said gently, absolutely expecting his prompt answer of, "Both."

"Why aren't you bothering her with this then? You know she worries about you too."

Now Peter rolled to lie on his back, looking up at her. His expression was as solemn as it ever was.

"I made a decision about how much of yourself you were willing to risk for me without you once before," he said, and then smirked slightly, "I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice. It's your life that could come under fire too. It's as much your decision as mine."

Gwen's breath froze in her chest for a second, and then she bent down to kiss him frantically.

Peter lifted himself up a bit, so she didn't have to bend quite so steeply, and Gwen ran a hand down his chest appreciatively, shamelessly groping his abdominal muscles. The kid ate worse than a _pig,_ and he still had a fantastic freaking body; if she weren't frequently reaping the benefits of said body (and its endurance, and flexibility), she might have been a little angry about that. She hummed against his lips.

Peter shifted, too fast to see or even really feel the movement - one second she was sitting with his head in her lap, the next, she was sprawled across his chest. She hummed again, almost laughing when she felt Peter's answering smile against her mouth. Gwen not-so-secretly loved having Peter under her like this; Peter not-so-secretly thought it was adorable (and really _really_ hot) that his girlfriend was more than a little toppy.

Their heavy make-out session finally wound down - Peter had lost his shirt, and Gwen's was hiked up right underneath her bra, but somehow, they managed to stop.  Gwen leaned back a bit, lifting up to kneel above him; Peter's hands settled on her hips.

"Let's think about it, okay, Pete?" Gwen implored, shamelessly pinning him with the puppy-dog eyes. "And please, _please,_ really really think about it, don't just immediately decide that it's too dangerous because someone might find out who you are, and then who I am, and who your aunt is… Just, please, think about it? And I will too," she assured, seeing the doubt growing in his eyes, "I will. I won't lie, I want you to do this because I think it will keep you safer… but it won't if people find out who you are."

Peter stared up at her for a while, but eventually he nodded. She sighed gratefully, settling back down on top of him, pressing her face into his neck. One of his hands settled protectively in her hair, the other stroking warm and heavy down her back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH I almost forgot to put this chapter up! I'm sorry! In my defense, I was on tumblr and then... Well. I was on tumblr. One minute it was 4:30pm, and then it was 10:30pm. I can't be the only person this happens to.
> 
> Edited 24/11/2014 for grammar and other minor errors.

Pepper swept into Stark Tower on a mission - Tony kept trying to buy companies, and she was barely keeping on top of his latest hare-brained idea on top of all the other stuff she was supposed to be managing. She was _seriously_ looking into getting that man a handler.

She put it in her schedule, and hoped that Tony hacked it (he will). She tagged it with a picture of Super Nanny, just to be vindictive.

Pepper entered the elevator and turned gracefully to face the doors, smiling serenely out into the anonymous bustle of the lobby; when the doors closed and only JARVIS could see her, she let out a frustrated growl, digging her nails into her palms, resisting the urge to punch the wall. If the Army ever stopped being dicks about getting their hands on Tony's suits, Pepper wouldn't know what to do with all the free time she suddenly had. More than once she'd wished she could just punch Senator Stern in his smug fucking facing. No wonder Tony claimed an allergy to meeting with the government - she could feel herself developing a rash. 

Suddenly, the music in the elevator changed from the tasteful, tinkling elevator music to one of her favourite 'kicking ass and taking names' songs - courtesy of JARVIS.

_"I don't really wanna wake you,_   
_I just came to get my things,_   
_But the pretty lil' thing lyin' there beside you_   
_Better take off my weddin' ring-"_

Pepper smiled, feeling marginally better. "Thank you, JARVIS."

 _"I'm messin' up the place,_  
 _Kickin' down the doors,_  
 _Never wanna see his face no more-"_  

"My pleasure, Miss Potts," he replied smoothly - but Pepper knew him well enough to hear the amusement underpinning his words.

 _"Tells you that he loves you,_  
 _Then he take it all back!_  
 _Girl, you gotta wonder,_  
 _Girl, you gotta wonder,_  
 _Girl, you gotta wonder 'bout a man like that."_  

The song cut off just before the elevator slowed to a smooth stop, so that by the time Pepper was sailing out the doors, no one had any idea that she just got what amounted to a pep-talk from a computer.

As Pepper approached her office, she caught sight of her secretary, Arlene, giving something in the office the stink eye. Arlene noticed her, and frantically waved her to a halt before getting up and hustling over, trying to look casual as she passed the glass walls of Pepper's office.

"What is it?" Pepper murmured, unsure in the face of this new development - she _never_ had unwanted visitors waiting for her in her office, Arlene was far too terrifying and efficient for that.

"She snuck in while I was in the bathroom," Arlene hissed, looking murderous - she took her job very seriously. "She doesn't _look_ like much, and she hasn't _touched_ anything… I just got back to my desk thirty seconds ago, but she can't have been here long. Looks like she's waiting for you, Miss Potts."

Pepper frowned, considering, but Arlene didn't think the visitor is dangerous, and Arlene was far more paranoid than even Tony on a security kick. Still…

"Message Tony, yeah?" she murmured, smoothing down her dress and running a hand over her hair. "Just in case."

Arlene already had her phone in her hand.

Pepper rocked back on her heels for a second when she actually entered the office - her visitor was _really_ not what she was expecting. The girl was young, and very pretty, with gigantic eyes framed by perfectly straight bangs. Her clothes were impeccable and high-quality, if not quite Fortune-500-company-office appropriate. She turned to face Pepper when she entered, smiling politely, extending her hand.

"Hello, Miss Potts, it's wonderful to meet you," she said genuinely, "Sorry to corner you like this, but I couldn't make an appointment, and I didn't want your assistant throwing me out."

Pepper shook her hand automatically, noting that her grip was appropriately firm. "How did you get up here?" she asked, but her guest just smiled. "And, who _are_ you?"

At this, the girl grimaced. "Ah, I'd rather not mention, in case this goes poorly…"

"Why would this meeting go poorly?" Pepper said coolly, turning her most intimidating glare on the girl, who deflated slightly, but stood her ground.

"Well, having Iron Man come bursting through that window is really going to make this more difficult," she replied, looking significantly over Pepper's shoulder at Arlene, who was watching them both like a hawk, phone still in hand.

"And why shouldn't he be here? He _is_ allowed. _You_ are not."

The girl smiled tightly. "I'm Spiderman's girlfriend."

Pepper froze, looking the girl up and down with new eyes - shit, she was really, _really_ young. She held up one finger, and went to the door.

"Arlene," she said, leaning out of the office a bit, "I think it's time you took a break, don't you?"

Arlene frowned, and crossed her arms. "I don't think so, ma'am."

Pepper sighed. Arlene was wonderful in very many ways, but there were only so many over-protective people Pepper can be expected to handle in her life.

"Everything is fine, Arlene, I promise. Take a break," Pepper ordered, and the other woman backed down first.

Once she disappeared into the elevator, which began its trip to the cafeteria level, Pepper leaned back into the office, crossing to her desk. Her visitor eyed her warily. Pepper ignored her, and picked up the phone, dialing from memory.

"Hey, Pepper-pot," Tony answered immediately, the slight echo to his words revealing that he was in the suit. "How's it shakin'?"

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Everything is fine, Tony, sorry to alarm you."

"I'm not alarmed, who said anything about alarmed? I don't even know what the opposite of alarmed is, I am so far beyond... not alarmed."

"Really, Tony, I promise. I'm not in trouble, I'm not hurt, Arlene was just over-reacting a little bit. I'll tell you about it in a little bit, okay?"

"Sure, I'll be there in 87 seconds," Tony agreed cheerfully.

"In the _penthouse,_ Tony, I mean it. Or you'll really regret bursting in here," Pepper warned, catching the panicked look on the blonde's face. "Please, Tony, just wait upstairs, okay? JARVIS will tell you if anything goes wrong."

Tony was silent for about ten seconds, which might have be a record for him. Pepper foung herself straining to hear the whine of his repulsors from outside her window.

"You promise everything is fine, Pep?"

Pepper had to smile. "I promise." They hung up simultaneously.

Pepper turned to her young guest, smiling warmly. "So. Spiderman's girlfriend."

She shrugged, grinning a little bit. "Sorry for all the cloak and dagger stuff, but he's… y'know. Paranoid."

"I am completely unfamiliar with the feeling," Pepper deadpanned, and the girl laughed. "Now, don't take this the wrong way," Pepper hedged, prompting one of the girl's eyebrows to lift, "But either your boyfriend is a cradle-robber, or he is really incredibly far, _far_ too young for this job."

The girl narrowed her eyes a bit, but finally shrugged. "Probably. But, you know. That's really unlikely to stop him."

"But seriously," Pepper argued, tapping her fingers against the surface of her desk, "You're what, sixteen? Seventeen? You're still in high school!"

She just raised an eyebrow. "You think so?"

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Okay, _maybe_ you're in university now, but you're not _long_ out of high school."

Again, all she did was shrug.

"Fine, don't tell me," Pepper sighed. "Look, is there _something_ I can call you? Do you have a code name?"

She snorted. "How about… Stacy."

"Well, it's very nice to meet you, Stacy. Was there something specific you wanted to talk about?"

Stacy sighed, and dropped her eyes down to her hands, which were twisting in her lap. "It's just… He _worries,_ about me, about his family, and he _knows_ that if people know who he is, and then they find out who we are… And the Avengers are really, really _famous,_ and if he joins them… Well. How long can he keep his identity a secret, really?"

"Some of the Avengers have 'secret identities'," Pepper argued, taking a minute to appreciate that, yes, this really was her life. "For example, nobody knows who the Hulk is."

Stacy looked incredulous. "Yes, they do."

Pepper has to blink a couple of times to process that. " _What?_ "

Stacy's eyebrow climbed a little farther up her forehead. "People have figured it out, of course they have. Well, when I say 'people', I mean entities inhabiting the more obscure corner of the internet, but they're out there. And they have _really_ popular tumblr's."

Pepper had never hated the internet more in her entire life. "Apparently, I need to get someone on monitoring internet opinions of the Avengers."

Stacy's answering smile was slightly pitying. "Hmm, probably. Anyway, about half the internet thinks that Bruce Banner is the Hulk, the other half thinks that Dr. Banner _created_ the Hulk, and keeps him locked up in this tower between missions. Oh, and that Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark are… y'know. _An item._ And that's why Dr. Banner is living here."

Pepper just stared at Stacy, not wanting to believe a word out of her mouth.

Stacy's smile widened. "There's fanfiction. It's pretty great."

Pepper threw up her hands. "Oh, god, no, stop talking _please._ What about Black Widow and Hawkeye?"

Stacy shook her head. "Well, nobody knows who they _are,_ exactly, not yet, but it probably won't take long. There are blogs dedicated to just tracking their every movement. They know that Widow is Russian, and that she was probably a spy. They think that Hawkeye was in the circus, or in the army, or maybe both, but nobody can agree on whether SHIELD picked him up off the streets and blackmailed him into joining to get him off the charges of armed robbery, or if he was recruited straight out of Special Ops."

"Captain America?" Pepper asked weakly, but Stacy just gave her another pitying look, and shook her head. "Okay, fine. The identities of the Avengers aren't as secret as we might like them to be. This seems to be a valid concern of his, then."

Stacy nodded. "How do you deal with it?"

Pepper blinked. "What?"

Stacy rolled her eyes. "How do _you_ deal with it? You're the very public girlfriend of the most public Avenger. I want to know how you stop Tony from worrying about your wellbeing obsessively."

"So… You're _not_ here to tell me why Spiderman will never ever join the Avengers?"

Stacy sighed sharply. _"No._ I _want_ him to join the Avengers. Do you have any idea how much safer _he'll_ be? But, I have family to consider too. What if the next bad guy that comes along and wants to hurt him kidnaps me, takes me from home? Do I expect him to ignore my family?"

"Uh," Pepper said, surprised, "Oh, God, you are _way_ too young to be dealing with _any_ of this." That was literally the only thought in her head.

Stacy frowned, and waved Pepper's words away, sitting back in her chair. "Regardless, we _are_ dealing with it."

Pepper sighed. "I'm sorry, but I don't really know what to tell you. It's… different for Tony and I. As soon as we were in a relationship, I was in danger of being taken, or killed, used for leverage but… It's worth it, for me. Plus, there aren't a lot of people powerful enough to consider angering Tony that much - he's made himself very clear on his feelings about the topic of my kidnapping," Pepper said drily, and Stacy almost smiled. "Also, my own position as a person with not inconsiderable power and visibility dissuades a lot of people from coming after me."

Stacy did smile at that. "So what you're saying is that I should become CEO of a Fortune-500 company, and then it will be safe for him to be an Avenger."

Pepper smiled too, but shook her head. "There are other ways to keep you safe, I'm sure. Keeping you close to Stark Industries, for one. There are a multitude of internships that are open in most of our departments."

Stacy's smile took on a sharper edge. "I'm not sure my current employers would take that well, but I see your point, Miss Potts."

"Who are your current employers?" Pepper asked, intrigued.

"Oscorp," Stacy said after a considering pause.

"Oh," Pepper said, surprised again. "So you're interested in science, then? That's helpful. Plus, Tony likes to make a game out of stealing as many people from other companies as possible - I'm sure he'll see it as a personal challenge. "

Stacy snorted. "I'm _brilliant_ at 'science'. Believe me, if he decided to join the team, I'll have no trouble obtaining a position as an intern here. Even without Mr. Stark's... involvement."

Pepper almost rolled her eyes. She remembered that feeling as a teenager. She was about to say something else, but Stacy stood abruptly, and Pepper followed suit automatically.

"Well, I think I've taken up enough of your time, Miss Potts. Thank you for not, you know, having me arrested."

They shook hands again.

"Please, Stacy, if you have any more questions, don't hesitate to give me a call," Pepper said, holding out one of the business cards with her personal number on it. "I want to make this as easy as possible for both of you."

Stacy nodded, took the card, and left without another word.

Pepper leaned back against her desk, sighing gustily. "Well, that was interesting."

"Indeed, Miss Potts," JARVIS said evenly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it was short. And not very exciting. So much TALKING. I can't honestly say that the whole of this story is very exciting, but if you can stick it out to installments 2 and 3, they are ALL action, ALL the time. It's a little bit exhausting to write, actually. 
> 
> On a more important note...
> 
> How excited are y'all to see Captain America? 
> 
> (I gave serious thought to calling in sick to work tomorrow. Because Chris Evans.)


	4. Epilogue: Three Weeks Later

Pepper spotted Stacy as soon as she walked in the massive front doors of Stark Tower, holding the hand of a tall boy with black glasses, long limbs, and ridiculous hair. She sighed. She hadn't _really_ been holding out much hope for the 'cradle-robber' theory, but she thought she might have preferred it to Spiderman being _painfully_ young.

Stacy spotted her quickly, and towed her boyfriend over. "Miss Potts," she greeted, holding her hand out, "Gwen Stacy."

Pepper lifted an eyebrow, amused. "Nice to see you again, Miss Stacy."

"Call me Gwen," she said with a wide grin, and gestured to her boyfriend. "This is my boyfriend, Peter."

He stretched out a hand too. "Peter Parker, ma'am. It's a pleasure to meet you." He blushed a tiny bit when he met her eyes.

_Oh, isn't he adorable?_ Pepper smiled warmly. "Shall we?" she asked, waving behind her, and the kids fell into line as she lead them to the penthouse elevator.

They stood in somewhat awkward silence in the elevator until Pepper said, "So, Peter, how did you get into the super-heroing business?"

He fidgeted, flicking an anxious glance in Gwen's direction before shrugging. "Lab experiment gone wrong."

Gwen elbowed him in the side. "He's joking," she said significantly, eyebrows lifting. 

"Mostly," Peter grinned, glancing at Pepper through his bangs, and she chuckled.

"Well, you can spare me all the science-y details, it would probably just give me a headache anyway." The doors _ping_ open, and Pepper lead the teens into the common area of the penthouse. They looked around, wide-eyed. "The Avengers are out at the moment, training or something equally uninteresting. I thought you might appreciate the chance to make yourselves comfortable."

"Yeah, thanks," they said together, looking dazed.

Pepper shook her head with a smile, and decided to leave them to it.

 

+++

 

Tony was torn between complaining bitterly about the effectiveness of Clint's Super-Slime-Glue arrows, or being vindictively pleased about the effectiveness of Clint's Super-Slime-Glue arrows because _he_ designed them, and he is a _genius._

"Seriously guys, as happy as I am that the arrows work - which, I resent them being tested, Cap, I really do, because they're _my design_ , of course they're going to work - did we have to test them on me? And, how come Clint got to use his weapons if I didn't get to wear the suit?"

"Because," Steve began patiently as they all clambered into the elevator, and all shied away from Tony so as not to end up with any of the disgusting gunk on themselves, "Clint already knows how to fight without his bow - he needs to learn not to favour his left arm. _You_ need to learn how to fight if you're cornered without the suit."

"Or," Tony felt the need to point out, "Instead of training for that eventuality, I could spend the same amount of time ensuring that I'm _never_ caught without the suit."

"That is what you spend all your time doing," Bruce sighed, cleaning his glasses with a corner of his shirt. He hadn't been training - no one wanted to take the risk of accidentally hitting him just a smidge too hard, and having an Incident on their hands, but Bruce still came to watch.

"So really," Tony continued as though Bruce hadn't interrupted, "All this training is quickly going to become obsolete."

Steve just shook his head, smiling indulgently, marveling at how, just six months ago, these comments from Tony would have driven him up the wall.

They emerged, sweaty and sticky and victorious, onto the common floor - which was, strangely enough, occupied. Two teenagers were standing by the windows, gawking at the view, though they spun around quickly as soon as the Avengers entered. The boy placed himself in front of the girl automatically, but she just rolled her eyes at his back.

"Hi honey!" Pepper called from the bar, walking around to approach Tony, "How was your day at the office?" She raised her arms as though she intended to hug Tony, but as soon as she saw the black gunk dripping off him sluggishly, she stopped several paces away.

"Pepper, snookums, I thought we talked about you bringing strays home," Tony said. "If you wanted to adopt, you should have just said something."

Pepper rolled her eyes. "Tony, everyone, I'd like you to meet Peter Parker, and his girlfriend, Gwen Stacy."

The two waved, coming a couple steps closer. Gwen nudged Peter, glaring at him pointedly until he cleared his throat.

"I uh," he coughed again, "I… also go by… Spiderman. Sometimes."

All the Avengers froze, and tried to figure out if Peter was lying, eyeing him critically, turning to Pepper simultaneously, and then looking back at the kid.

And then Tony said what they were all thinking:

"Shit, kid, what are you, like, _twelve?"_

 

+++

 

Tony tapped his foot impatiently, willing the numbers on the display in the elevator to tick by faster - it had taken him far too long to get in the thing after the kids had left. Cap kept wanting to _talk,_ to _explain._

Tony understood, of course he did, he wasn't _stupid._ Peter was too _young,_ he didn't have any _training,_ he deserved to have a _childhood,_ if we had known _before…_

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. All Tony had heard, all _Peter_ had heard was, "You're not good enough. Who do you think you are?"

Tony's foot tapped a little faster. JARVIS gave the elevator another boost.

Tony flung himself out the doors when they finally opened, flying through the crack as soon as it was wide enough for him to squeeze through. He looked around wildly, and spotted the girlfriend's golden head in the crowd almost immediately.

"Hey! Peter!"

The kid turned as soon as Tony called his name, and his girlfriend stopped too. They both looked a little bewildered, like neither of them was expecting what just happened _to_ happen (which, fair enough - they'd been all like "Heeeey, buddy, join our team, it'll be awesome and we think you're really cool" and then they'd been all like "Woah, dude, no, not you, we can't have you on the team, we were just kidding!"). Gwen's expression was starting to edge towards indignation, and Peter's towards… well. The kid just looked tired.

"I'm not going to stop," Peter said warningly as soon as Tony was close enough, "Even if I'm not… officially sponsored. I'm not going to stop."

Tony raised his hands placatingly. "Woah, no worries kid, totally your call. I just want to ask you a question."

Peter raised an eyebrow.

"How did you know what the suit was made of? It's been driving me nuts!" Tony explained, "I've been thinking about it for weeks, and I never talked about it in an interview, never mentioned it to any researchers at SI, never released _any_ kind of plans _anywhere…_ So unless you hacked Stark Industries in order to track the amounts of metals I've been ordering, there's no way you could have just _found_ the information. So, how did you _know?"_

Peter blinked a couple times, and then smiled sheepishly at Gwen. She urged him to speak with a jerk of her chin.

"Well, I mean, obviously the suit isn't _iron,"_ Peter scoffed, "It would be too heavy, and then _rusting_ would be a problem, and that's just a super inelegant solution. Titanium is a lot lighter and stronger, and generally easier to work with, so. I would have made a metal suit out of titanium."

"And the gold?" Tony prompted.

"What's the point of having a flying suit if you're restricted to the lower atmosphere?" Gwen contributed drily.

Peter nodded. "Exactly. Freezing. So. Gold titanium alloy. It wasn't a particularly… _difficult_ leap."

Tony just stood and stared at the two of them for a minute, and then he felt a smile stretching across his face - the one Rhodey referred to as his 'mad scientist' grin.

"Well, in that case… I have an offer for the two of you."

The teenagers traded skeptical looks, which didn't do _anything_ to diffuse Tony's excitement.

"I want to offer you both jobs. I don't know where, or doing what, but I'll find something," he said, waving his hand through the air to discourage questions. It didn't work.

"Why?" Peter asked skeptically, though he looked painfully hopeful.

"I'm not in the habit of letting brilliant teenagers waste themselves away in the _public education system_."

Gwen and Peter each lifted an eyebrow at the same time, and Tony barely managed to hold on to his laughter.

"Do you encounter enough 'brilliant teenagers' _to_ hire that you can call it 'avoiding a habit'?" Peter asked, a teasing smile flitting around his mouth.

"Shut up, kid," Tony grouched, but smiles at him, "And let me give you a job."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the ending... I really honestly intended to have Peter become a member of the Avengers by the end of this fic (considering that was the reason I wrote it...) but around the time I posted chapter 2 I read another fic in which Peter had been passed over for the Avenger Initiative, and I think that adds a really interesting relationship dynamic that I intend to explore.
> 
> UPDATE December 25th 2014 (Yes, I'm cleaning up fanfics on Christmas, sue me): I had intended to write a further two fics in this series, as anyone who read this earlier may remember... but I seriously lost the muse for this series you guys, I'm sorry, I barely managed to cobble together the ending for part two before the Muse died a horrible death. I'm not saying there will NEVER be a part three in this series... so if you're really committed, please subscribe, and if you're really, REALLY committed, please leave me a comment letting me know what you might like to see in part three, and we'll see if together you can give the Muse a swift kick in the butt. 
> 
> Thank you so, so much to everyone who has left a comment, or a kudo, those seriously mean the world to me.


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